Worrying is Blasphemous

Is that a hot headline or what?! This is “where” I have been for the last few days. There have been so many times in my life when I’ve felt like I was rushing from one thing to the next. In college, I remember stopping to assess all the work that I had to do, not knowing HOW it was all going to get done. I said to myself then, “Well, all I can do is… something. As long as I’m always doing something, I’ll get through it.” And I did.

I was able to let go of the worry because I came to the rational conclusion that worrying about whether or not I was going to get everything done was not going to get me any closer to getting anything done. The only productive thing I could do was… something. Any one thing. Isn’t it funny how life is cyclical? Because I am finding myself re-learning that very same lesson that I thought I learned as a senior in college… just take one step. Any step.

This time around, there seems to be an added awareness to my lesson. I’ve realized that my tendency to worry and get stressed out about… anything is due to my lack of faith. When I allow myself to think that the full burden of responsibility falls on my shoulders, I begin to tense up just like I did during that last semester in college. When I think I’m actually in charge of the HOW, that I’m going it alone, that’s when life seems incredibly and impossibly hard!

A few days ago, I re-discovered one of my favorite clips from the 2009 TED conference. It’s of Elizabeth GIlbert, the author of Eat Pray Love.

She made some amazing, compelling points about the completely misguided tendency of “our culture” to ascribe genius to a single human being. We say someone is a genius rather than having a genius (for a specific time). This talk so inspired me because I realized that I was not alone in my intuitive sense that… I am not alone!

In all of our tasks, in manifesting our life purpose, we are not alone. In fact I believe (like Liz), that each of us has been given a divine gift to share with the world. This is such a huge concept for me because the next thought of course is… why would we be given a gift to share with the world without the assistance with which to share it?! Liz says any of her creative endeavors is a partnership between her and the Divine. Yes! Me too! And like Liz, all I have to do is MY PART, which is… to keep showing up. Just take one step. Just do one thing.

So 16 years ago, I let go of worry because it was irrational. Now I let go of worry because of… faith. Every morning I get up and read the three words I’ve written on my bathroom mirror: KEEP SHOWING UP! Every day, I pray like Liz, “I’m going to do my part. If You want this project to happen, then let the stars align to make it so.” I will connect with the right people and the Universe will say “Yes!”

I’ll just keep showing up. The HOW is not my job.

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Ria Sharon is Practical Mommy on My Mommy Manual. For recommendations on travel car seats and other product reviews, positive parenting coaching, and more practical and inspired tips, visit www.mymommymanual.com

How to Embrace Your Weaknesses

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you’ll make one.”
— Elbert Hubbard, author

This came to me in my inbox today and is yet again another reminder of my ongoing lesson on fear and doubt. Just when I think I’ve vanquished the bad wolf by showering it with all my unconditional love :), it rears it’s ugly head in yet another aspect of my life. I suppose I should expect that. Life is after all, a collection of experiences your soul draws to itself for it’s own growth. And growth/change is scary.

My current lesson/doubt surrounds my newfound status as a single mom. Can I do this? When am I going to screw up? Am I going to mess up my kids? Did my decision to leave my husband compromise my ability to be a good mother to my children? Am I really not capable of making the best decisions for their safety, health and welfare without him? My former spouse (with no malicious intent) is very adept at planting these seeds in my mind. Then again, a friend of mine reminded me that we always create relationships that reinforce the internal dialogue we have with ourselves. Aha! This is surely where my current lesson lies.

Last week, I penned some thoughts about it almost unconsciously, saying that real love requires the courage to be vulnerable. But now what? I accept that I am human. I accept that I get impatient, I get angry, I get frustrated. I accept that I get scared. I know these emotional states affect the people around me, including my kids. My mommy wisdom (as well as my own experiences as a daughter), tells me that not only can I accept these traits but that I can embrace them as part of me, because as my best friend told me just the other day, “God within us is powerful through our weaknesses.”

But what does that mean?! I lose my patience with my daughter because she can’t focus on her homework. First grade homework… augh! I probably hated it when I was in first grade! But how is my impatience powerful? How can I shift this into a graceful moment?

Pause.

Breathe.

I can feel the tightness rise up from my stomach and the clenching in my shoulders and jaw. Breathe. I say, “Come sit next to me. Let’s work on this word problem together.”

What did I just teach her? Yes, I get frustrated and impatient but… I can breathe through it and regulate my emotions. When I rise above the darkness and connect with her, I model a point of light. I must point out that my daughter is a mini me what it comes to impatience! Of course, right? But I’ve just modeled something for her… making the higher choice. I made a choice to turn away from frustration and anger, not because I’m a saint with infinite patience. I did it despite my very human tendency to be impatient, just like her. Powerful.

“God within us is powerful through our weaknesses.”

Am I good mom? I have a feeling I will struggle with this lesson for awhile. But I KNOW that the God within me is the perfect mom for my kids.

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Ria Sharon is Practical Mommy on My Mommy Manual. For recommendations on travel car seats and other product reviews, positive parenting coaching, and more practical and inspired tips, visit www.mymommymanual.com.