Posted on January 19, 2010 - by Joy

Once Upon A Time I Write Here A Lot

Now? Not so much. I mean, barely, if at all.

I’m sitting here numb from repetitive tasks for today (and only for today, thank goodness!) and I have the sudden urge to type-speak. I don’t feel like picking up the phone to babble to someone, but just let everything flow through my fingers.

Last week I started an online course called Mondo Beyondo and it’s a 5-week course about “Dreaming Big”. I dream big on some days, but on most days I get bogged down by what’s happening in the Now, what concerns me Now, what ails me Now. I’ve forgotten how to dream and build a dream in my mind and actually get it.

Do you believe in dreaming? Wishing beyond what you think would be possible in your lifetime? I did this years before without even knowing it. I let my mind loose. I was in a horrible place, but I let my imagination wonder and wander. I built on that dream in my mind one detail at a time. The more I think about it, the more it becomes vivid, and there came a time when the gap between my dream and reality became more little. And eventually, I am living it. The more I think about it the more I ask myself why the heck did I stop there?

Complacency? Did I get too comfortable? I won’t discount that theory. It’s easy to be that.

This year, 2010, is my ME-year. I will take care of myself, nurture myself and let myself dream big. Dream of things I don’t think would be possible, but nevertheless, I will. Because I can. It’s free to dream, yes?

On a comment I left on a blog of a writer, I mentioned that I’ve been blogging since the early 2000, and she made a remark that the archives on my blog is only 2 years old at most. Most visitors of my more publicized blog don’t know this URL, where the half of it happened. I meant to do something worthwhile with this, and I’m still trying to figure out what, really.