Anything Less Than Brilliant

Taking the first step is always the most daunting. Write the first word, the first sentence, the first paragraph…chapter…book. First day at your dream job. First meeting. First kiss. Doesn’t the anticipation sometimes ruin it? Because what if, what if it fails and and you blew your first?

In the world of a teenager, the first love would be forever. But we all know that is not the case most of the time, and yet we were in that space once.

We romanticize firsts.

Take for example, when I try to write something when I’m not in the mood to. Everything feels stifled. A word just cannot seem to suffice what I want to say (of course it doesn’t). I have a lot of things to say but they reach my mental bottleneck and they’re just all floating lazily in my head.

I don’t understand why I do this to myself sometimes even when I know fully well it’s going to be fine later on. Sweaty palms, dry throat, extreme restlessness. I balk at the weight of firsts. God. And I’ve been at this for 30 years!

Right here, right now, I’m committing (again) to writing here regularly. A lot of things do get in the way and shuffle the priority list around.

Taking the first step…