Sanity Saving Measures

I’ve been thinking about this for years now: if and when I have a company housed in my own building, with employees, these will be two rooms which I would deem imperative to our workplace: the Screaming Room™ and the Quiet Room™.

Here’s how it would work:

The Screaming Room™

Back when I was in university,as a full-time student with an average of 25 course units per semester, including hours-long laboratory work on Saturdays, there really was no “sane” day. Hence, I learned to thrive in that kind of environment and work most efficiently when each day is packed. It didn’t make sense, but it worked to the advantage of my short attention span mind where it fluttered between all these different things to do. It was crazy. As much as exciting such a packed and fast-paced life is, I needed to decompress so badly. The best way we did it for a minute or less was to scream outside of our institute’s building.

There was a huge field of grassland to the right of our college building, and there was enough space between buildings at the time for you to actually walk out of the building for a few hundred meters and scream your life away without attracting (that much) attention, disrupting ongoing classes or being dragged by the campus police for insanity.

Let me tell you: It was the BEST FREE THERAPY EVER.

I’ve never been to any kind of therapy, but I would surmise that if you were to be forced to sum up your fears, anger, hurt, confusion, frustration, nervousness, happiness in one collaborative vocal accord, you can scream your heart and lungs out to get at least some of it out. OUT! You can curse out loud and say the longest and loudest four-letter word that ever came out of your pedigreed mouth if you want.

I’m serious. You should try it sometime. And you know what else is better? Try bringing a friend in the Shriekfest™. You think I am kidding, but I’m not! C’mon, do it. I had a friend once who was having relationship problems and we cursed her boyfriend together in the midst of all that green. It was a glorious experience.

That’s where this idea of a Screaming Room™ came about. There will inevitably a day when someone will need to vent vocally and loudly. It may be from work, or from their own personal lives, but this is something I want to do have for them, for all of us: an accessible room where you can shout and scream as you please and no one can hear you.

In my ideal office, there would be a 2-minute limit for the Scream Room. I mean, how long do you need to bleed your trachea out? A minute is actually enough, but I’ve giving an extra minute to breathe in between screams.

The Quiet Room™

That’s just what it is. A room where you can go for complete silence.

There would be water, coffee and tea in this room. Plus napkins.

Sometimes you just really need some quiet time to yourself devoid of ANY type of distraction. A room with 4 walls. No pictures, no nothing. No distractions. Just a quiet place with you and yourself.

For the Quiet Room, there’s a 10-minute limit.

What do you think? If you were to build an office for your employees, what unusual, special ammenities can you think of providing aside from the usual kitchen, garden, and sports/games room?

Worrying is Blasphemous

Is that a hot headline or what?! This is “where” I have been for the last few days. There have been so many times in my life when I’ve felt like I was rushing from one thing to the next. In college, I remember stopping to assess all the work that I had to do, not knowing HOW it was all going to get done. I said to myself then, “Well, all I can do is… something. As long as I’m always doing something, I’ll get through it.” And I did.

I was able to let go of the worry because I came to the rational conclusion that worrying about whether or not I was going to get everything done was not going to get me any closer to getting anything done. The only productive thing I could do was… something. Any one thing. Isn’t it funny how life is cyclical? Because I am finding myself re-learning that very same lesson that I thought I learned as a senior in college… just take one step. Any step.

This time around, there seems to be an added awareness to my lesson. I’ve realized that my tendency to worry and get stressed out about… anything is due to my lack of faith. When I allow myself to think that the full burden of responsibility falls on my shoulders, I begin to tense up just like I did during that last semester in college. When I think I’m actually in charge of the HOW, that I’m going it alone, that’s when life seems incredibly and impossibly hard!

A few days ago, I re-discovered one of my favorite clips from the 2009 TED conference. It’s of Elizabeth GIlbert, the author of Eat Pray Love.

She made some amazing, compelling points about the completely misguided tendency of “our culture” to ascribe genius to a single human being. We say someone is a genius rather than having a genius (for a specific time). This talk so inspired me because I realized that I was not alone in my intuitive sense that… I am not alone!

In all of our tasks, in manifesting our life purpose, we are not alone. In fact I believe (like Liz), that each of us has been given a divine gift to share with the world. This is such a huge concept for me because the next thought of course is… why would we be given a gift to share with the world without the assistance with which to share it?! Liz says any of her creative endeavors is a partnership between her and the Divine. Yes! Me too! And like Liz, all I have to do is MY PART, which is… to keep showing up. Just take one step. Just do one thing.

So 16 years ago, I let go of worry because it was irrational. Now I let go of worry because of… faith. Every morning I get up and read the three words I’ve written on my bathroom mirror: KEEP SHOWING UP! Every day, I pray like Liz, “I’m going to do my part. If You want this project to happen, then let the stars align to make it so.” I will connect with the right people and the Universe will say “Yes!”

I’ll just keep showing up. The HOW is not my job.

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Ria Sharon is Practical Mommy on My Mommy Manual. For recommendations on travel car seats and other product reviews, positive parenting coaching, and more practical and inspired tips, visit www.mymommymanual.com

Anything Less Than Brilliant

Taking the first step is always the most daunting. Write the first word, the first sentence, the first paragraph…chapter…book. First day at your dream job. First meeting. First kiss. Doesn’t the anticipation sometimes ruin it? Because what if, what if it fails and and you blew your first?

In the world of a teenager, the first love would be forever. But we all know that is not the case most of the time, and yet we were in that space once.

We romanticize firsts.

Take for example, when I try to write something when I’m not in the mood to. Everything feels stifled. A word just cannot seem to suffice what I want to say (of course it doesn’t). I have a lot of things to say but they reach my mental bottleneck and they’re just all floating lazily in my head.

I don’t understand why I do this to myself sometimes even when I know fully well it’s going to be fine later on. Sweaty palms, dry throat, extreme restlessness. I balk at the weight of firsts. God. And I’ve been at this for 30 years!

Right here, right now, I’m committing (again) to writing here regularly. A lot of things do get in the way and shuffle the priority list around.

Taking the first step…