Dailies
Back…back to where?
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When I go to the apartment I co-lease with my boyfriend, I get a Welcome Back! When I go to Vancouver, I get a Welcome Back! too. Everyone in either places tell me — Welcome back HOME! And they tug at my heartstrings when I leave with — “When are you coming back?” It really is a nice feeling to know that people are looking forward to your return, but I’ll have to admit that it can get emotionally and psychologically tiring. As if I have a responsibility to go back. If I were a millionaire with lots of money to burn for flights, I don’t think I wouldn’t be affected by it as much.
My hop-scotching between US and Canada leave me feeling homeless. I yearn for a feeling of being grounded…physically. It’s like I’m just floating around on an air balloon and waiting to be dropped off at my final destination. The fact that I am never at a final destination is starting to get to me. Before I get settled at one place, I have to pack up and go again. Make this stop! The novelty of flying back and forth is wearing out and I think I really have to do something about this or I will be miserly. For me to be crotchety is even unthinkable to me, but I’m afraid that phase will come. Yikes.
Here comes the weekend and I shall stop thinking about this for now. Off for some happy hour and Dark Knight later this evening.
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See, way back when you were talking about moving to Arizona, I had always been under the impression that you were, you know, moving to Arizona… and then you started this whole jumping back and forth between both places thing. Sounds like you’re torn between wanting to be with your boyfriend but still wanting to live in Canuckland. You seem to be having a case of wanting your cake and wanting to eat it too ;)
well it’s not that easy and simple to really “move” to the US. As a Canadian it’s not easy to find work there and find an employer to sponsor me for a work permit. I have a business in Vancouver and I have to go back and forth to do buisiness, maintain my residency and meet with clients and my accountant during my tax year ends for personal and business. I can’t even get a driver’s license in the US because I’m just a visitor. It’s just so frustrating to be so limited, especially for someone like me who likes to keep busy and achieve more. I can “live” in AZ but I don’t feel like I can thrive there. Know what I’m saying? And yes, I do want my cake and eat it too. :) always. LOL
Tricksy. I had the reverse problem when we moved to Toronto for 5 years. I did eventually get a work permit, but having the rest of my family 3000 miles away pretty much sucked. We’re back stateside now, but still thousands of miles from where we BOTH came from. I don’t think anyone ever appreciates this sense of displacement (which place IS home?) unless one has done it. There are some wonderful books written by people who’ve had this experience, even losing a sense of which LANGUAGE is truly their own. If only i could think of ANY title at the moment, I would surely give it…