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I Hate To Say It But It’s True
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The particular egoic patterns that you react to most strongly in others and misperceive as their identity tend to be the same patterns that are also in you, but that you are unable or unwilling to detect within yourself.[...]
Anything that you resent and strongly react to in another is also in you.
- Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening To Your Life’s Purpose
In the Bible, there’s a passage that says, “Love thy Enemies.” And you know what? I think this is why. If you really look into yourself and be open to the possibility that what you loathe in another is the very thing that you loathe in yourself (and I know it is difficult), then you’ll find out that you are just the same. Sometimes, you are the person you hate. Ouch.
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© 2008 kinkish.. 
In my experience, if I meet someone and they “bug” me. I usually find that it is something in them that I don’t like about myself that triggers the feeling. It’s my own self-loathing that creates loathing for other people. Now, imagine that I just loved myself fully and therefore loved all fully. It’s an exciting possibility.